A Whole Lotta Nothin'

WTF? I am having problems with the font size again on this thing. I KNOW how to change the font size. It just won't take. I am so pissed at blogger! I can't imagine what I could be doing wrong! Anyway...

Well my lovely spring break is almost at an end. I'm not sure if I'll be called Monday to work, but I know I'll be called sometime next week so officially fun times are over on Monday for me. It was more productive than I'd hoped because I actually got some great SLEEP! And we know how elusive that is for me. I haven't slept this well in months. I also read a lot, watched a lot of movies and just generally enjoyed not being around those little shits.

Speaking of...haha...I had to take my mom for her colonoscopy yesterday. She insists they didn't give her enough anesthesia last time so this time they really, really drugged her out. She was wacky yesterday. I stayed overnight with her just to make sure everything was OK. The good news is she got a totally clean bill of health - as far as her colon is concerned. At least you get insta-results with a colonoscopy.

I'm sure you all know this by now but I did buy tickets to see The Church at the Roxy. I succumbed to the fear that they might not tour again; although part of me sees The Church touring on walkers if need be. I am going to have to see who might go with me - if anyone. Sad!

Well, because of my bench accident, I really screwed up my right ankle. For some crazy reason it didn't start hurting until almost a week after the accident. Now it's killing me. I think I've sprained it. It's really bruised and it hurts somewhat to walk. It was getting better but today it hurts even more. If it doesn't start getting better soon I'm gonna have to see another dr. and we all know how much I HATE SEEING DOCTORS!

I am still at my mom's waiting for her to come home with the groceries for Easter dinner. We are not religious about Easter at all, but we still do the dinner thing. I like to think of Easter as a pagan holiday celebrating spring - what it started out as in the beginning anyway, no doubt. It's not like I'm a kid and am going to get an Easter basket. I have serious trouble with the Christian beliefs that surround Easter; I always have.

Anyway, this blog is very similar to my break in that it is full of a whole lotta nothin' but I thought I'd check in with y'all anyway. I keep looking at V's blog to see if she is officially preggers but nothing! I'm going to call her. I'm sure she is; I just wanted to see if she went to the doc's. I'm so nosy. But excited!

Spring Break

Ok, do NOT get me wrong - I LOVE not being at work. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Not being around those stupid trashy wanna be gangsta kids with their filthy vulgar mouths? It's lovely. But spring break is kind of lonely when you're the only one on it. My friend Cheri, who is also a teacher, is naturally on her break NEXT week. Boo hoo.

Why do all you people have to live in different states? Texas, Arizona, Illinois, Ohio - even northern California (which would love to separate from us and become its own state I'm sure). Of course California can't take anymore people, that's for sure. Maybe I should move - but sadly I can't handle snow and extreme heat. Wuss!!!

Well I'm going to go off and entertain myself and don't take that the wrong way all you kids with dirty minds! ; )

The Bench Accident - Or How I Am The Biggest Moron in All of History

Ok, so there's a little hyperbole in the title, but still, I felt like the biggest moron in all of history after I got over the shock of being on the ground - or kind of being on the ground and half straddling a fucking bench.

Last Wednesday I was at one of my usual hell holes, subbing for LAUSD. I'd been there before but still needed a map to find the classroom. So I'm walking along, looking intently at this map, and I walk straight into a long line of benches. I was - how do I say this - parallel with it - meaning I literally fell onto the end of the bench - not the middle - I literally just slammed into it, the concrete barriers around it, tripped and fell down. It wasn't like a little gracious fall however. My entire body literally flew over the bench. The only thing that kept me from falling flat on my face (and hitting my head, thank God) were my extremities. My arms went flailing but my right leg must have hit the bench really hard because my right foot up to my inner right thigh is totally black and blue. I also had a HUGE lump on my right shin (it's gone down to almost nothing now), and I still have a massive bruise on my left knee, left arm and left elbow. I got a few cuts along the way but nothing major.

What was so awful was the utter shock of it all. One minute I'm walking along and the next it's like I've been hit by a car. It took me at least a minute to come back to reality because I couldn't figure out where I was for a minute or why I was on the ground. I was so freaked out I actually thought "Oh my god, did I hit my head? I think I would've felt it if I hit my head." I am obviously feeling the repercussions of poor Natasha Richardson's head injury and panicked for a minute. Then I realized "I think I'd know if I hit my head." These girls circled around me like a flock of birds and one was sweet enough to pick up my stuff. Other rubbernecking morons just gaped at me like the idiots they are.

But honestly, I really wasn't even embarrassed because I was in such a state of shock. I kind of wanted to cry because it hurt so much! But alas, that was out of the question. Anyway, that's the worst fall I've had since I was 9 years old and fell and knocked out my permanent teeth (they saved them). I just gathered my things and limped along to class like nothing happened and managed to get through the day - with 7 periods of some of the worst students to boot.

So, that my friends, is the bench accident. You too can be humiliated and yet not even feel it because you're in such shock you did such a stupid thing at a middle school. Anyway, less than a week later and I am still limping along, just grateful it wasn't worse. And I am VERY careful about looking where I'm going now.

Anyway, I am in a better mood tonight. I just watched Slumdog Millionaire and cried like a baby (or a woman with PMS) at the end. I LOVED it. How can you not love this movie? I think it has one of the most romantic moments in all of movie history in it but I won't spoil it if you haven't seen it. I laughed, I cried. How's that for cliched?

I am really into The Wire now. Did anyone ever watch this? Naturally I am only about seven years late on this show. I think they had their final season last year; thank God for Netflix and DVD's. It used to be on HBO and is about Baltimore cops and bad guys, haha. Sounds cliched but it's really quite brilliant and the lead detective, actor Dominic West, is adorable.

OK, so onto other things...Sandy - are you going to Chicago to see the Church? Did I misread your comment? I think you are going! Also, Eek, I was thinking about the Church's last tour in 2006 - the one where I helped out with Steve's art. They played Santa Barbara, Hollywood, Orange County AND San Diego. I sadly missed the 2004 tour completely. I know times are tougher now and I can't expect huge tours from them...I had just really hoped to see some Church friends!

OK my psycho cat Zoe is running back and forth outside my bedroom door and I keep thinking it's a person. She sooooooooooo needs a Xanax. (Don't worry, I only drug myself, not my animals).

Also, thank you Eek, for that story about your poor mum and her sinuses. Doctors are so weird. I think mine gave up on me today. He was like, go see an allergist, your immune system is shot. Oh thanks so MUCH doc! I feel great now. Bastard.

Anyway, that's it. My bruised leg and I are going to bed.

Photo: British actor Dominic West - I am indeed such a sucker for the Brits - even when they're playing Americans!

WTF?

I am in such a flaming bad mood today. Went to the ENT AGAIN because of my sinuses. He has referred me to an allergist. Just what I want to do - go to yet ANOTHER FUCKING DOCTOR! I actually asked my ENT either to get me well or kill me. I told him I understand that last part isn't really part of his oath, but you know...fuck this shit. My sinuses have NOT given me this much trouble since 2002. I want to drill holes in my head.

And the Church, those mofo's, are doing the shortest tour ever. I really thought I might get to see Staci - but it's her beau's b-day and I don't think any of my other friends and relatives can make it out for one stinkin' Church show in June.

I'm on spring break; that's the good news. I can only sleep in til about 8am now because I get up so early during the week. Still, it beats getting up at 4 or 5 am!

I am also PMSing OK? There I said it. I just want to crawl under the covers. I'm going to do that now actually. I was thinking of taking of picture of my entire right leg, and putting it on here, because it literally looks like a car ran over it. This is the leg that took the brunt of the bench accident. It's really ugly and hurts like Hell. My doctor gave me no morphine. What a dick!