Today I Turn Forty.

40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coda

And in the very end
Will I sit by some dimly lit window
Gently holding all the children of my discontent
The whispers of disbelief and soft, sad sentiments

Floating through the gun metal gray haze of winter dusk.

Will we go quietly
The carrion waiting patiently
For some discombobulated demise
Will this numbing silence define all of my goodbyes

In all of the dusty rooms of my forgotten mind.

Will I rock gently to sleep
Unanswered questions born long ago… so broad and deep
Will I caress the haunted relics of my suffering
Kissing sweetly the dull aching and the long, deep, bitter want

In all my days there was beauty and horror
And in the very end I shall lay down this burden
This interminable grief
These neurons insistent upon fact not faith

And like offerings before a great god
I will lay down my questions, my tears, my empty prayers
My sufferings, my sacrifices, my wicked grief

And I shall finally go home.