Friday, March 31, 2006

MadameBastet-firing-neurons

MadameBastet-firing-neurons
Zoe is sleeping on the bed.
Her warm, furry little body curled up by my pillow.
She loves her momma's scent.
There are pills, and days, and pills, and more days.
And there is anguish and beauty and insanity beyond
all comprehension.

Bella decided to nickname me 'Bubbles' today.
Her laugh is like that of an angel.
Blake lost a tooth and the Tooth Fairy was late
arriving with proper payment
What do you get for a tooth these days?
What's the going rate?

Sometimes I look around the table
and the piercing innocence on these little faces
almost breaks my heart.
I don't want them to ever change
and yet I know they must...evolve, grow, learn, know.

Discover one day
there are no Tooth Fairies
Or Easter Bunnies
Or Santa Claus
That's easy in the madness of this world.

It is finding out
there is no security
no safety
no where to hide
that I am frightened of...
for them, for myself.

Their leaders have gone mad
and we are pawns in a game we could never have imagined
would be so evil.

Until then, I shall revel in a world
where leprechauns are real
lollipops grow overnight
and Zero the Hero
conquers all.

MadameBastet-firing-neurons

MadameBastet-firing-neurons
It's like the fucking deluge.
Should we build the Ark?
Do I live in Seattle?
I cannot think of one real reason not to pack up
and leave this place.
I really think it's a justifiable decision
given the circumstances of this
maddening crowd.

The message is loud and clear
Go, leave, go, leave, go, go, go
No more this, no more that.
No more nothing and everything and anything
oh the Buddhists were right
But what's so great about being right?

So everything is illuminated and crystal clear
I want out
This isn't some goddamned Hallmark card
I wonder what my dad would say.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

MadameBastet-firing-neurons

MadameBastet-firing-neurons
The rain was incessant today
and the madness of my nocturnal insanity
found relief all day on the couch.
What dreams! Hell if I remember any of them.

I hate days like today.
Trapped. Helpless. Down.
Feeling like death warmed over.
Tried to finish my essay for the credential program.
Why I want to be a teacher.
Blah blah blah fuckity blah.

Oh you know, the ususal reasons.
The glamour, the prestige, the insane perks
and fantastic salary.
Why the hell do you think I want to be a teacher?
I'm a masochist
and have been since the start of this
clever little game.

My new mattress arrives tomorrow.
Troops coming home from war wouldn't make me anymore excited.
I've been sleeping like shit for months.
Yeah, it is the little things...the little things with big prices.

So Monday I was an Old Maid
what shall tomorrow bring
more rain perhaps?
Relief from myself is always the hope.

The children save me from myself.
Thank God for small mercies.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

MadameBastet-firing-neurons

MadameBastet-firing-neurons
The Egyptians knew from what they were worshipping
with almighty Ra
Ra-Atum
This great glorious ball o' fire
That has seen the arrogance of millions
rise and fall
The collapse of brilliance
The apocalyptic call.

All sun makes a desert true
Here we can drink martinis
and ponder the various methods
by which we will destroy ourselves

We will not need a Cortez, a Columbus, a Pizarro
to conquer this mess
Like Rome we will implode from within
The ghost of Santa Anna will lead them all
The great white man's burden will become
survival
in a sea of angry ignorance, greed and fear.

Oh fuck the American Dream
it's dead already
They're not here for that.
It's a sad lie
I'd rather give this great land back to the Cahuillas,
The Chumash
even the Spaniards
Than the fuck-ups who could barely hold on to it
for 20 some odd years.
You say you want a revolution yeah yeah.

You'll get yours.
Pray to your saints
that you don't become
that from which you've
so deserpately run.