Saturday, February 07, 2009

Another Q and A Thingie

Rules: It's harder than it looks! (We'll see about that.) Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real, nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. Your name: D
2. A four Letter word: Dark
3. A boy's name: Daniel
4. A girl's name: Desiree
5. An occupation: Director
6. A color: Dark brown (I honestly don't think there is an actual color that begins with the letter "D")
7. Something you wear: Dress
8. A food: Duck!
9. Something found in the bathroom: Dirt
10. A place: Denver
11. A reason for being late: Drunk
12. Something you shout: Damn
13. A movie title: Don't Look Now
14. Something you drink: Dewars whiskey
15. A musical group: Doors (The) - does this count?
16. An animal: Dog
17. A street name: Doran Avenue (this actually exists in the city in which I grew up)
18. A type of car: Denali
19. Something scary: Death
20. Ice cream flavor: Dublin Mudslide (Ben and Jerry's - hey, it's the closest thing I can find to a 'flavor' that starts with D - this one is impossible!)
Someone is Going to Burn in the White-Hot Fires of Dry-Cleaning Hell

Ok, have any of you heard the 4 minute tirade going around the Internet, TV, radio, moon, Saturn and every other galaxy where Christian Bale goes off on some poor DP for four minutes using the word "fuck" at least 300 times???

That is NOTHING - NOTHING my friends, compared to what I am going to verbally do to my dry cleaners Monday. I have to leave in a few minutes for West L.A. for an ALL DAY 'connection event' where I will be interviewing with private schools for a teaching job.

I took my $150 suit to these fuckers to get dry cleaned last week. When I brought it home, the receipt accidentally ripped off - and this is where I was stupid - I tossed it. I get up this morning and they have paired MY jacket with SOMEONE ELSE'S SKIRT - which is NOT IN MY SIZE and DOES NOT MATCH ENOUGH FOR MY EXPECTATIONS ANYWAY!

MOTHER FUCKING FUCKERS!

And in case you are wondering why I am so bloody FUCKING MAD, it's because 4 years ago I actually had to switch to THIS dry cleaning place because the LAST ONE I USED gave my favourite skirt EVER away to another customer and would not replace it, pay for it or even really own up to it. I had it out with the owners over and over. They denied I ever brought it in - even though I DID HAVE THE RECEIPT! It was a silk charmeuse skirt with black embroidery...I still miss that skirt. I wanted to take it to Europe with me.

WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS IT WITH ME, DRY CLEANERS AND SKIRTS?

I don't care if I can't find the receipt. These mother fuckers know me and know I brought this suit in and they are either going to find my skirt or pay me money. Oh they are going to PAY alright.

So naturally, I am in another outfit...I only own one suit. I'm a teacher, not a lawyer. I don't wear suits to work. These people are going to wish they'd never seen my face. That's all for today.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Another Goodbye

My best friend Jill's grandmother Helen, died yesterday around 4:50 p.m. Jill was with her. Another February death - I tell you, I'm looking forward to March! She was 87. For logistical reasons regarding the rest of Helen's grandchildren, the funeral is not going to be held until the 21st!

I went to dinner with Jill tonight and we sat in her grandma's house for a while. Jill knows how much I've always loved her grandma's house. She understands my NEED to say goodbye to houses, haha. I'm really proud of how Jill has managed so much; her dad is in Antarctica, and her uncle and cousins are scattered across the country. She does have one cousin in Orange County. She has had to take on SO much - not just her grandma's health, but her dad's property, her dad's bills, her grandma's apartment building, those bills, Jill's own life, work, school, tuition....I think I would've lost it by now. Today she went to the funeral home alone to make the arrangements. I offered to go with her, but she wanted to do it on her own.

I am worried about her. Thank goodness she's taking the whole week off from work. I really loved her grandma, but I'm so glad she is not suffering. And I truly believe she is another world; one we can't or won't ever understand until we get there ourselves.

I'm tired and going to bed now.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Grazie, Sandy


1. What is your occupation right now?
substitute teacher (ugh)

2.What colour are your socks right now?
no socks - it's 81 degrees here in Hades

3.What are you listening to right now?
the fan

4.What was the last thing that you ate?
grilled cheese (go Veleska!)

5.Can you drive a stick shift?
sadly, no

6.Last person you spoke to on the phone?
my mom

7.Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Well, I stole, but I do indeed like very much the person I stole it from

8.How old are you today?
41

9.What is your favourite sport to watch on TV?
Ick. I hate sports.

10.What is your favourite drink?
Non Alcohol: Starbucks black iced tea, unsweetened
Alcohol: a fabulous fruity martini such as pear, peach, apple, lemon or a Sidecar

11.Have you ever dyed your hair?
Hell yes. Going this Thursday to dye the grey out

12.Favourite food
Oh heavens. Really? It's so hard to pick one thing. Healthy: avocado (I know, it's got some fat). Not healthy: McDonald's french fries (sticks o' fat)

13.What is the last movie you watched?
Pride and Glory w/Ed Norton, Colin Farrell...cop drama. It was OK.

14.Favourite day of the year?
Hmmm...either Halloween or the day before Christmas

15.How do you vent anger?
Murder. No, no, I'm kidding peeps! Oh heck, ranting like a wild woman, blogging, swearing, talking to my friends, mom, cats, the walls. Also turning it inside which sucks because then it turns into depression.

16.What was your favourite toy as a child?
You guys must remember Colorforms? Or how about the Easy Bake Oven? Or the Lite Brite? Am I spelling this right?? Also, my Barbie was pretty rad. Sadly I didn't know at the time how she was subconsciously destroying my self-esteem, haha.


17.What is your favourite season?
Autumn - you go Sandy!

18.Cherries or Blueberries?
Blueberries. Chock full o' antioxidants.

19.Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
Honestly, I don't care.

20.Who is the most likely to respond?
Why everyone, of course. I am adored.

21.Who is least likely to respond?
People who don't read my blog.

22.Living arrangements?
Tiny but modern 1/1 apartment with cathedral ceilings, granite counter tops, partial wood floors, etc. Very nicely furnished. Kitchen so small even I can barely fit into it. Hundreds and hundreds of books. Two amazing, beautiful, smart, witty, cats who throw up on the carpet at least every other day.

23.When was the last time you cried?
Earlier today, when Michelle Obama said she was a product of the wonderful education and all the educators she had growing up. Teachers get nothing but crap or lip service but I felt she really meant it and I'm eternally grateful for her for saying it.

24.What is on the floor of your closet?
So many clothes, shoes, a giant down bedspread...so much a corpse could be under there and I wouldn't know it.

25.Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?
Sandy!!!!!!!!! I think it's been almost 7 years though since I've seen her. :(

26.What did you do last night?
Watched The Office, peed in my pants laughing (ok, I didn't but seriously, The Office was that funny), read, did some laundry, turned my digital photos into zip files on the computer, read, went to bed.

27.What are you most afraid of?
FLYING! The next thing would be flying, flying and flying. Oh and spiders. Especially if they're flying.

28.Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Cheese please. I love cheese far too much. We need to break it off now.

29.Favourite dog breed?
CATS RULE, DOGS DROOL! Dogs are the whores of the animal kingdom. Ok, so I think you get I'm a cat person. But I do ADORE Jack Russell Terriers, even though they are basically four legs and tail on METH and CRACK. I also love King Charles Cavaliers...I think they're cocker spaniels. Oh and I'm sorry, I DO LOVE Chiauaua's. Especially the teacup ones. Paris Hilton has given them a bad name. It's not their fault she buys 62 million of them, forgets about all of them except the one she sticks in her Louis Vuitton toy dog bag and forgets about that one.

30.Favourite day of the week?
Friday. Anticipation rules.

31.How many states have you lived in?
Mentally? No, I'm kidding. Just one, the eternally broke and fucked up Cali.

32.Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds! The diamond is my birthstone, so naturally, no one ever gets me my birthstone as a gift. Sob. However, I also adore aquamarine.

33.What is your favorite flower?
The yellow rose. But NOT FROM TEXAS!

Sunday, February 01, 2009


T.S. Eliot Had it All Wrong!

April is the cruelest month...not for me. I came into this world in April and I've always enjoyed my birthday. I still find January and February the most miserable and cruelest of months.

January took three of my grandparents, and several great aunts and uncles.
February 12th took my father (well, that's debatable, haha), my best friend's mother (from MS) and one of my brother's best childhood friends (he shot himself in the chest - it was a tragic, tragic end to a troubled life) and now my best friend's grandmother is dying. She's been in and out of hospitals for the last several weeks. I think she is at home with hospice care now. Since I grew up with Jill, doing so much with her family and her grandma was always there (going to the Rose Parade, the Hollywood Bowl, swimming at her house, going out to eat, spending the night, etc.) I feel close to her grandma. Jill only lives a couple of houses from her grandma's house. BTW, her grandma, Helen, is 87 and is the mother of Jill's mom, who, as I said, died of MS in her mid 50's. My heart broke when Jill's mom Susan died; how awful to lose your child when you're in your 80's. I mean, it's horrific to lose a child at any age; but to have to watch your child suffer for so long...it's cruel.

I am going into 'town' tomorrow (the city I grew up in) after I see my rheumatologist. I just texted (is that a verb now? a real word?) Jill to ask if I could stop by her grandmother's house to, well, basically say goodbye.

Sorry this blog is a downer.

In better news, I already feel tons and tons better from the new medication my shrink has me on. Also, the birth control I'm taking, Yaz, has not only stopped the pesky flying sperm from getting to me, but more importantly, seems to be doing its FDA-approved job in toning down my PMDD (translated: PMS on crack). I feel...normal?? Is this what most women feel close to their periods? I don't feel like throwing myself out the window, or stabbing the furniture or eating the entire contents of the fridge. Tide commercials aren't making me cry hysterically and I'm not having a battle to the death with my sheets, pillows and bed at night. I don't feel like the life force is slowly being sucked out of me; like my uterus has become a vessel of pure, unadulterated despair and my ovaries are no longer whispering "It's useless. End it all now."

I don't know. I don't want to get too excited here. I'm only in my first month with these drugs. It's so, so, so, so, so disturbing to me that I feel I am just essentially a giant petrie dish of out of control chemicals. It makes me feel highly reductionist and nihilistic.

I wonder if there's a pill for existential despair? Hello, calling all pharmaceutical companies...