Happy (Little) Endings

So things are actually starting to wind down in The Job That Came From Hell and Almost Took My Sanity. It's hard to believe. Friday was the last day we switched classes for math. On May 21st we're going to build a math city called Polyhedraville. Lord help us. Tomorrow begins the infamous No Child Left Behind (cough, vomit) CST/STAR testing. It's the state testing that tortures - I mean - measures - how well we've um, taught the kids the curriculum and schools live and die by their scores. The school I work at has famously high API scores and therefore is of course, a "good" school, whatever the hell that means. Last year in student teaching I proctored the CST exams for my second grade class. Second grade is the first year that the kids are given these massive exams and let me tell you, I may not know as much about kids as my Perfect Prissy Principal but I can tell you that those kids were NOT developmentally ready to take those tests. It was so hard on them. I felt like I was torturing them. How did I ever get through school without being tested to death? I don't know.

Also - joy of all joys - I'm a real teacher now. One of my students had head lice. Yes - at MY school too - the wealthy, perfect school with no scary immigrants! Well, except for the immigrants from Iran and Israel. But none of those nasty Hispanic immigrants. Please note the extreme sarcasm here. Anyway, it's very unusual for a fifth grader to get head lice. Normally it happens in the lower grades. I've no idea where she got them. Needless to say we had TWO nurses checking every kid's head the day she came back and I made them check my head too! I'm paranoid now. I feel my head itching all the time. I'm sure it's psychosomatic but I'm so grossed out. Naturally it's a kid from MY class, haha.

Also, praise the gods - I finished my BTSA portfolio. I have to submit it for approval and go to some boring ass colloquium on Tuesday but at least I'll be DONE with year one of that waste of my time.

Some parents threw me a birthday party on April 28th - the Monday right after my b-day. We had cupcakes and juice and they bought me one of those tiny cakes and there was a plastic cat on top! Oh god it's happened - crazy single teacher cat lady! LOL! It was really sweet though. Wow, not every parent hates me! Amazing. The kids made the cutest birthday card for me and wrote some really nice things and the parents that threw the party gave me the most gorgeous necklace. One of the mothers makes them. I can't even describe how beautiful her work is. She uses silk thread and everything is real - pieces of smoky quartz, amethyst, shell, gold, silver....the necklace is really just like one long thin rope with these gorgeous stones woven in this beautiful lavender silk thread. You can tie it around you any way you like. I don't know what it costs but I have a feeling it's quite expensive. Don't think I'm not going to go see my principal one day without wearing it and casually mentioning where I got it from! Bitch.

We're also done teaching the regular Language Arts textbook crap curriculum and actually get to teach a REAL LIVE BOOK! LOL! I am teaching the "high" students and the book was one of my favorites as a kid - The Witch of Blackbird Pond. I'm excited to be able to have some freedom now in the way I want to teach this. The 'high' kids will be nice for a change but there are some with serious, hardcore attitudes. Truly, they think that they're smarter than the teachers and some even told Michelle, my master teacher, that she was essentially a shitty teacher. I've decided it's their parents talking out of their little mouths. Speaking of...

If I can just survive to May 16th I really think I might make it. Thursday, May 15th is Open house. I just have to deal with the kids and their assinine parents (well, except for the few nice ones, haha) all in one place for an hour and a half and then - no more. I am really frightened about the economy and there are going to be NO teaching jobs in California this year thanks to the budget. Right now I am feeling like Scarlett O'Hara though. I'll just think about that tomorrow.

In other happy news, I've been feeling like death warmed over lately with the fibro. No shock there right? I mean, it's been a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD long-term flare up. I'm sleepy all the time, have massive trouble getting up in the morning...am in severe pain almost all the time, blah blah blah. I went to the doctor - aside from my weight, things are OK. My blood tests all came back normal. Normally I managed to have a pretty decent attitude about it - I mean, after 15 years what am I going to do? But when it gets this bad, I get pretty depressed. Who wants to live in severe pain and be this tired all the time? Jesus. Plus, you get the added benefit of having to hide it from everyone. If I was the Devil Himself I couldn't think up a worse way to torture someone.

I went out with The Humans last night and went BOWLING! That was some crazy ass fun. I almost didn't go because I felt so lousy. But I just keep having to push myself to go out or I'll end up in bed all the time. Anyway, really, I haven't been bowling in 30 years. Some things never change - except the scores are all digital now. But bowling is a nice retro throwback.

Oh! Almost forgot. Guess who sent me an e-card for my birthday??? Gena!!! Yes, the friend who, almost a year ago this month, flipped the hell out on me because she thought I hung up the phone on her, refused to see me or speak to me and then changed the locks on the door to her house. Unreal. My mother kept saying she would contact me. I said no way. Guess I was wrong. I do know that last August they moved and they live in Livermore, CA. I got a gift subscription renewal from Oprah and it had her new address on it. Anyway, in the birthday e-card, she said she missed me. Man, I was so devastated over what she did to me. Last summer was brutal because of that shit. But she has me pegged all wrong. You don't treat me like that and expect me to go back. Yeah, I'll forgive and I'll even forget (the job shit has been so prevalent I haven't thought about her in forever) but I ain't going back. She must be desperate for friends. I'm not that desperate.

I'll leave with a new picture of my niece. She's having trouble with her feedings still. I'm worried about her growth. Yet she seems like such a happy baby. I hope she is and doesn't remember how hard it's been for her to simply BE in this crazy world.

Photo: My niece Ella, sitting on the couch in her polka dot pj's. I love the look on her face.