Deliverance


Pay the piper and
run far and fast with your soul
Hold onto your words
For the story's already been told

We were the promised ones
The legacy of shooting stars
We burned the brightest of all the sons
The city of angels, a trip to the moon, a stopover on Mars

We were the ancients
The ones long deceived
We were the kings and queens
Naive enough to believe

We are the brittle, the tired, the old
We are the outcasts, the murderers, the jokers, the stardust of eons past
We are the bones, broken and cold
We are the nameless, the faceless, the suckers who thought it would last

Pay the ferryman
Your time has come
The years were not your friends
Accept your coming undone

Pay the piper his token
hold tight to your keening soul
the words have already been spoken
so save your sad tales of old.

The Ruins of September

What great ruins now sleep eternally
on the broken ground of this grey city
Like souls prostrate in mighty grief
In all the world, black disbelief

Human eyes will never again see
the views to Heaven once conceived
in man's own mind
a three pound universe
the same which brought these giants down
tis now the view of Hell unbound

Who were the men, the hands indeed
that set in stone
the hopes, the dreams
birthed by Rome in concrete, stone

Of greatness built to Gods and men
and leveled in seconds by Hell's condemned
A city keens for fallen friends
Yet bent not broken in the final end.

Groovy Man!

Blogger has these new templates and I really like this one. For now. It just seems so retro and 1960's. I'll probably change my mind about it soon.

Well I've had a whopping two interviews for teaching jobs; one job I didn't get and one I suspect I didn't get but don't know for sure yet. The second job was in a really horrible part of L.A. which just shows you how desperate I AM for a job.

Cheri is still here. Things are still going well. I now have no idea when she's leaving, haha. I'm worried about her though. She's only applied for teaching positions and time is running out. Many schools have already started and the ones that haven't start in the next 2-3 weeks.

I went off the Coumadin about three weeks ago. It's only been three weeks granted, but so far, so good.

I've signed up to substitute teach again - in a different district that L.A. so it's less money but no doubt the kids will be more civilized. The kids in L.A. were monsters and the money they gave you was hazard pay. L.A. isn't hiring for subs anyway.

I got my resume redone by a professional to start look for administrative assistant positions too. I'd encourage Cheri to do the same but she can't even type more than 20 words a minute and knows NOTHING about any computer programs. Yikes.

Anyway, now it's just a matter of finding places that are hiring. I never thought I'd be out of work so long and have such trouble finding a job. Recession my ass. Depression is more like it. At least for some of us.

And on that happy note, that's about it. Wish I had better news.

Happy Birthday to Me

Today marks one year since I went into the hospital for my embolism. I'm alive!!!!
Yay! Seriously, I'm very, very grateful to be here, considering how serious my condition was.

Also, I saw my cardiologist and he agreed I can stop the Coumadin so tonight will be my last night taking it! Yay again! I can now eat whatever I want, and start taking aspirin, Aleve and whatever else I want again. Also, no more weekly or monthly blood tests. Yes, I now have a greater chance than the average person of having another embolism, but I am off the Pill and will not be taking anymore hormones EVER and I think I'll be OK. There are a lot of dangers to being on blood thinners and I don't want to deal with those anymore.

Cheri is still living with me - it's worked out really well. I've enjoyed having her here quite a bit after being alone so long. She's probably going to stay about a month longer.

I had a JOB INTERVIEW - it was actually for an English teaching position at Malibu High School. I would've only been teaching two classes though. I don't think I got it. I know I didn't get it. Oh well. On to the next challenge! I learned a lot from the interview and I think I'll be better prepared for the questions I'll be asked in my next interview. If there ever is another interview, haha.

I took my Excel computer class again. I understood it much better this time but still, I'm not going to be good at Excel. If I can make and understand the most basic spreadsheet, I will consider that a huge victory. I also took the Word Intermediate class, but I had such a SHITTY instructor I am taking it again as well. (I can take the classes again for free).

That's about all folks. Still going to Curves (although I flaked twice last week - bad girl), still looking for a job. Can't believe it's basically August!

Update

Wow I haven't written anything in a month of Sundays!

Some new news:

1) My friend Cheri is living with me for a month, starting today. It's a LONG story but anyway, she's here. I helped her move out of her apartment yesterday. Moving is a bitch.

2) Still no job. Took an Excel class. Wow, it's tough. Will be taking another one, as well as two Word classes. I'm not going to be an expert at the computer by any means, but I've got to get better to even get a receptionist's job. That's so sad. I trained so hard to be a teacher; but it's not going to happen. I get rejection letters right and left. Sad.

3) GREAT NEWS on my health front. My hematologist ran some more tests; they are ALL NORMAL. It's very possible I will be off the Coumadin as of August 1st. If so, I can't wait!

4) I have been going to Curves regularly for slightly over a month. Wow, it's making a difference. I've been slowly losing some weight. Still going to OA.

5) No plans for the Fourth of July. As usual, haha. Cheri and I will probably just hang out.

6) I finally broke down and got wireless service in my place so I can move my computer anywhere I want it. AWESOME! It's great.

7) I guess not much else is going on. My balcony is either being eaten up by termites or it has wood rot. This is when I am glad I am a renter. It's not my problem to fix it.

8) Things are good, despite still being out of work. Hope all is well with all of you.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I love that song by Bowie.
It pretty much describes my life lately.
Good news -
I finished writing my unit plan for English - it's 70 pages long. Who says I can't write a book? Just do that a couple more times and I'm set, haha.
Better news - I saw a new dr. and I don't have a genetic blood disorder. I had a bad first dr. It was most likely the Pill that caused my problems last summer.
I may get off this drug sooner than I thought.
Best news - I only have two more classes and despite the employment situation
I'm pretty damn happy.

In the last two weeks I've heard from two people from my past - both old friends I haven't talked to in a while. One I haven't talked to in 3 years and one I haven't talked to in 18 years. 18 fuckin' years! The stories behind how I lost touch with these people are long and drawn out. I just drifted away from my friend Heather, the one I hadn't heard from in 18 years. Sadly, Gena and I had a bad, bad, messy fight and that ended our friendship. Although I wish her the best in life, I just don't want to go back.
This is courtesy of Facebook!
Didn't write back to Gena. No hard feelings, I'm just intent on moving forward with my life. I don't want to go back. I have nothing left to say. I apologized to her a long time ago and that's that.
I wrote a brief note back to Heather - we were best best best friends in college.
It's really, really strange to hear from someone after almost two decades.
Thanks, Facebook, haha.

Going to Palm Springs in about 3 weeks. May be going to Atlanta to visit my angel niece Ella.

Things are good.
My brother is going to see the Church tomorrow night. I was blah on seeing them and skipped them. Like I said, changes.

And in the "Things Just Keep Getting Better Category..."

I just lost my unemployment benefits. Apparently I didn't understand that they were going to run out so soon. I can file an appeal but I'm not really that hopeful.

Waiting for the locusts.