MadameBastet-Firing-Neurons
An Angel in a Cat Suit

This is the story of a little cat who knew where she belonged and a young lady who was saved by the pure, sweet love of that cat; a cat named Zoe.

When I was 26 and in graduate school, my dad lived alone and was very ill. I thought he might like a cat, since he'd had one before - but it died. A friend of mine had a cat who'd just had kittens, so I took a female kitten to my dad. I named her Tamarin.

Frankly, Tamarin was not the most friendly cat. But she loved my dad, and my dad was no longer alone. Unfortunately, my dad accidentally let Tamarin outside one day before I could take her to get fixed. This 'accident' would have both sad and wonderful repercussions for us all. Tamarin didn't waste time finding a tomcat, and on March 28, 1995 she gave birth to 5 beautiful kittens.

The only problem was, what were going to do with these darlings? My dad agreed to keep two, and I fell in love with a little black and white kitten I named Moo Moo, because to me, she looked like a little cow. We decided to give the other two to one of my dad's friends who worked in a pet store.

I took Moo Moo home and we fell madly in love with each other. She curled up next to me in bed, and suckled on my earlobe - a ticklish and funny little feeling. I hope she didn't think milk was coming out of that ear! She was a feisty little girl, like all kittens, exploring every tiny aspect of my apartment.

One day, the time came for me to take the other two kittens to Michelle, at the pet store. I came to my dad's house with a carrier. We got one kitten in, but try as we might, we could NOT get the other kitten out from under the bed. It turned out that this kitten was my Zoe, though I didn't know it yet. She knew. She knew she belonged with me, and she wasn't going anywhere. She had actually torn a hole through the mattress and was hiding inside the mattress. I tried everything to coax this cat out. I couldn't fit under the bed, and she was too far inside the mattress for me to reach in and pull her out. In the end, we had to literally pull the mattress off the bed, stand it up and I had to forcibly remove this crying, wailing kitten. It was breaking my heart, but we had to do it. She cried like I've never heard any cat cry before. She looked at me like she couldn't believe I was taking her from the place she belonged. I put her in the carrier, drove to the pet store, and dropped the kittens off. It was hard, but it was over.

Life can give you the most blessed gifts, and also take away those gifts, cruelly and without warning. One night in May, I'd gone to the movies with a friend. I came home, and saw my precious Moo Moo literally hanging from one of the wrought iron chairs in the dining room. The horror of what was in front of me was indescribable. Moo Moo, my sweet angel, had tried to climb inbetween the bars and had gotten stuck. She'd broken her back; her spine was crushed. I gently pulled her out...she'd wet herself and could only crawl on her front paws. I rushed her, crying hysterically, to an all-night emergency vet, knowing the whole time there was no hope. And indeed, the vet told me - she was going to have be put down. I wept as if it were my own biological child. I held her and told her I was so, so sorry. I told her how much I loved her, and how happy she'd made me. And then she went to sleep.

The next month was brutal. I was already living a hellish existance....I was in graduate school, but I'd taken the year off as my health had deteriorated to the point where getting out of bed was an effort. I'd been struck down in late 1993 with what we now know is probably fibromyalgia. I was terribly sick; I was fatigued beyond measure, doctors couldn't help me, or didn't believe me, and on top of everything, I was taking care of my sick father. Some days, I didn't think I'd make it at all. I cried and cried for Moo Moo. I lived in chronic pain, I'd lost my beloved kitten and I wanted another kitten - but not just any kitten. For some odd reason, I only wanted a kitten from Tamarin's litter. My dad generously offered to give me one of his; but I couldn't take it.

One day in late June, I was driving over to my dad's to help him and for reasons that only the Universe knows, I swerved my car to the right - and parked right in front of the pet store where I'd dropped off the extra two kittens a month earlier. I have no idea why. I hadn't looked in any pet stores; I didn't want a kitten from a pet store. And yet I was compelled to walk inside. Once I did, I immediately saw our friend Michelle. She walked right over to me and said,
"Denise, isn't this one of your dad's kittens?" She was pointing to a cage, with Zoe inside. I was stunned. I said, "Yes!" And there was Zoe, screaming her little lungs out. To this day, I'm not sure why she ended up back at the pet store; according to Michelle, a woman adopted her, and then brought her back. Michelle told me she was a screamer. I didn't care. I wanted her. Although I have to admit, and this seems like such a shameful thing to admit, that I was afraid I wouldn't love her like I loved Moo Moo. I didn't like her face like I loved Moo Moo's. I felt shallow and awful, and yet I still wanted her.

I've had cats my entire life. All the crazy quotes about cats are mostly true. Cats don't have owners, they have staff. You don't own a cat, it owns you. Yet this was not true with Zoe. I brought her home, and named her Zoe, after the Greek word meaning "life." She was new life for me.

She also became the most loving creature I've ever known. I don't think she knows she's a cat. I think she thinks she's a dog...or maybe even a human. She stuck to me like glue - and she started suckling on my earlobe just like Moo Moo. She settled in like she'd always lived at that apartment - as if she was finally home. She didn't scream - unless I left the room. Then she wailed. She followed me everywhere. She became my shadow. And in no time at all, I fell in love again, and hard.

My dad used to call Zoe pure love. That's what she is. She is the most affectionate, loving cat I've ever had. She is terrified of strangers, but clings to me like I am her life. She curls up with me in bed and kept me company all the years I was sick. She is hysterical - she meows and makes all these sounds that actually sound like words. She is a riot! She gets so jealous when I talk on the phone and she lets me know it! She has a distinct personality and makes these funny little grunts if she doesn't like something. She sits on my chest and gazes into my eyes. She rolls on her back, waiting for her belly rub. She suckled my earlobe for years. She lets me hold her like a baby and gazes up at me with her beautiful green eyes.

Today, when it's time for bed, she lets me know by getting on my spot on the bed, curling up and going to sleep. She adores my spot on the bed. She won't sleep anywhere else. It feels a bit silly to be so in love with a cat. I know I'll never be able to explain how loving and sweet she is.

I know now why she didn't want to leave my dad 's house. I don't believe in miracles really. But I cannot explain why I stopped at the pet store that day. I cannot explain why Zoe seemed so determined to stay with me. I hesitate to believe in gifts from God, or the Universe, but I know this for sure: Zoe was a gift. An angel disguised in a little cat suit. And yes, I love her as much, if not more, than Moo Moo and I think she has the most beautiful face in the entire feline world. She has been with me for 11 years and I know someday she will not be here - it's a thought I can barely tolerate. But for now, she has been my best friend and I wish everyone could know such love from an animal. It is truly a miracle.