MadameBastet-Firing-Neurons

Happy Trails To You...

Well, here it is Monday and I still haven't really processed my
last day with the kids. It was kind of a crazy day, with all the kindergarten (morning and afternoon) classes meeting at 7:45am so we had lots and lots
of wild kids running around. We played on the 'big kids' playground, and read a book about dinosaurs, and they had lunch, and we watched a video someone took of one of the kindergarten classes throughout the year.

When I arrived at school, there were already two gorgeous bouquets of flowers
waiting for me...and more gifts than I could've ever imagined...all in pretty pink
bags. Gift cards, beautiful bookmarks, a beautiful pink satin robe - I mean, these moms really went overboard - I know they can afford it, but it was slightly embarrassing. I was only doing field experience - I wasn't even the teacher!
These teachers, what they don't get in salary, they must make up for every year in gifts! But I had to remind myself, this is a very wealthy community and a very wealthy school.

That is certainly NOT why I did this. For me, the absolute, most special gifts were the cards that the kids made. They were all hand-made, and all so adorable. Marla gave me a lot of pictures of the kids doing things on days I wasn't there, to fill up my scrapbook. The end came far too soon, and as 11:00am
rolled around, the kids gathered up their backpacks and got in line, just like it was any other day. Each day a child picks a song to sing as they're leaving. Sometimes it's "Happy Trails." That's what we sang on Friday.

I'd held it together pretty well, considering what an emotional, blubbering cry-baby I am. I asked each little girl for a goodbye hug and they gave it to me; it's so sweet and sad - obviously at this age they don't realize this was a permanent goodbye. One little girl was crying and crying - she didn't want to leave kindergarten. I felt for her!
I asked the boys if I could shake their hands and I did.
Debbie, Tanner's mom walked in as most of the kids walked out, and she looked so strange. She had her sunglasses on but she looked angry. For a moment I was scared - until she just burst into tears. Well, that did it for me. Debbie and I were probably the closest - and I admit, her son Tanner was a favourite of mine, despite his stubborn Taurus-like nature (he was born the day after I was in April). She, as a mother, I guess, was just really emotional at seeing her little boy leave kindergarten, basically his last 'fun' year behind. We hugged and cried together. Tanner is so lucky to have such an amazing mom.

After everyone had left, Marla was kind enough to invite me to lunch with all the other K teachers; she had to help me to my car with the flowers and boxes and bags. I need to write a LOT of thank-yous. We had a fun lunch and then I came home, and bawled. I was exhausted.

Today, Monday, it really hit me that I'm not going back.
It also has been weighing on my mind lately the difference between a school like this one, and say, a school in South L.A.
The opportunities these kids have, as opposed to the lack of opportunities so many children have...whether it be in the areas of parenting, food, clothing, shelter, a stable family environment, books, decent teachers...the inequality is heart-breaking. And then to take it a step further - I read about Darfur, the Congo, Sudan....I see how so many children don't even make it to 5...I feel so utterly helpless to do anything. Fate has such a hand in your life...where you're born, who you're born to....it's amazing. Whenever I would feel sorry for myself my dad would say, "Be grateful for what you have. You could've been born an untouchable in India." How true.

I hope when I student teach I am put somewhere I am really, really needed. Because it's not about me, being in a cushy rich environment. Certainly I don't want to have to dodge bullets to get to class, but I want to go where the true help is needed next time.

So, happy trails to you, my cupcakes. I'm not sure we'll ever meet again. I wish you health, peace, joy, love, and gratitude for all you have. I'll keep you in my heart, always. Thanks for the cards, the memories, and for being your wonderful selves.

Picture: Claire and Rama mugging for the camera at the Mother's Day Tea.