Speechless

I apologize for the different fonts and font sizes in this post; blogger is really fucked up and I can't do anything with it now. I truly don't have the words to fully express what happened to me yesterday at work. I will do my best to put it in words; but suffice it to say it was the worst day I've ever had in my life in a classroom. I went to work at a school and had two classes that essentially rioted the entire time I was there. I was afraid for my safety. Emotionally I thought I was going to crack, I was so angry. I called the main office to ask for security or a Dean or someone to get to my bungalow because the kids were totally and completely out of control and had been from the absolute second they walked into the classroom and realized their teacher wasn't there. If you saw what happened in a movie, you wouldn't believe it. You'd think the filmmakers were exaggerating for effect. I swear on my life, here's a sampling of what went on:

They threw history textbooks into a large trash bin
They tore pages out of books and threw them in crumpled balls across the room
They climbed on top of their desks
They opened and shut both the door and the window constantly
They were screaming, laughing and swearing the entire time
They were basically out of their seats the entire time (each class was 1 1/2 hours)
They threw math textbooks across the room
They smashed the math calculators and threw them across the room in pieces
They repeatedly threw pencils into the ceiling and at each other, and me
They stole the referral forms (to the dean) off my desk
They tipped each other over in their desks
They hit, slap and kicked each other and called each other filthy names
They wrote things like "Slut" and "Rape" on the whiteboard
When the first class got out, they walked out screaming "FUCK YOU MS. D! WE HATE YOU MS. D! YOU'RE A MEAN BITCH!"

I had absolutely no control. They walked in at the beginning of class at just went apeshit. I left at lunch and refused to work the last period. I wanted SECURITY to come in and sit with me the entire time. Apparently this school doesn't have any security. These are the most disturbed, fucked up kids I've ever seen. You can see the crazy in their eyes. They fought with me, they defied everything I told them to do, they laughed in my face. The Dean DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. She stood IN THE DOORWAY - didn't even come fully into the classroom, for about ten minutes and did NOT SAY A WORD TO ME OR THE STUDENTS.

The minute she left, they started acting like animals again. I have never been so traumatised as I was yesterday. I was shaking as I went to the office. I didn't cry until I got into my car and off the campus. I am still reliving the day in my mind. No matter what I've tried to do today, I can't stop thinking about what happened.

LAUSD has a policy where you can request NOT to be sent to a certain school for jobs - BUT - and this is so rich I can't believe it - you have to be PHYSICALLY INJURED IN AN ACT OF VIOLENCE AT SAID SCHOOL in order to never have to go back to the school. You have to be hurt. Perhaps permanently.

So because I managed to avoid getting a pencil stuck in my eye, or a textbook barely missed my head, I probably don't have a case. Nevertheless, Monday morning I will be calling LAUSD, filing a complaint against the school, and telling them I will never go back there. I am going to call the principal of the school on Monday as well and tell them never to bring me back to that school.

I feel like the last four years of my life have been a total waste. Unless I can get a job in a private school that pays well, I have done everything for naught. You couldn't pay me enough to work in LAUSD permanently. My body hurt so much today and I couldn't figure out why my fibromyalgia was so bad. Duh! I'd just been through hell yesterday. Needless to say, I did not sleep well again last night.

I should feel sorry for these kids but I don't. They are taking up space on the planet. They are waste cases who will do nothing but fill the juvenile and adult prison systems, waste our tax money, get on drugs, deal drugs, fuck and create even more damaged kids, live off welfare and tax the shit out of the mental health system in the county. You truly, truly don't even want to know my worst thoughts about these kids. They belong in a military school with a boot up each one of their asses. I don't think you'd like me very much if you knew what I think should be done with these monsters.