MadameBastet-firing-neurons
Christ I fucked up.
And when I fuck up I usually take others with me
into the royal fucked-up-ness.
Some great weariness caught me
like my soul was tired of being dragged around
in this old body.
Ok, I'm a fuck up! A moron! An idiot!
I want out of this place.
I let the ugliness come out for all to see.
Jesus, it really ain't pretty.
I wonder if Christ felt this tired
on the cross?
1 comment:
I like the blunt emotion in your writing, and i think it's pretyt sweet that you've kept such a steady pace over the time your blog has been up.
Thinking about your question... I believe the answer is yes. I think he did feel this tired. While we get wiped out with the realization of what we have become (I let the ugliness come out for all to see) I think it was probably just as tiring for him to have to see what we would do. How each of us is a fuck up, a moron, an idiot.. even with what he's willing to do for us. Even though we don't have to be. Even though we know how much it's gonna hurt to turn around and look our wrong choices in the eye.
I know for myself that I can look Jesus in the eye when I'm crap-faced in the mud because he's willing to be there with me.. willing to put up with a me that would go there again and agian- because.. I don't know. I don't understand. Apparently it's the Father's love... I think I'll understand better when I have kids to see them fall.
But what do I know.. I'm only 18 :)
Keep on writing: if all else fails and I totally misunderstood it and so does everyone who reads it... at least you'll know what you meant - and you'll have been able to share.
What fun :D
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