FUCK YOU BLOGGER!

Blogger just erased my whole blog. I'm not retyping now. Will type again later.

Damn you!

Nice

Am at work again. At the "good" school. Was feeling OK until I read Catz's blog. Wow, what a way to call someone out on something. Instead of writing me a private email asking me not to call her at night, she makes my name the title of her blog and lets everyone know how irritated with me she is. So yeah, I'm feeling like shit now; who wouldn't? I don't know what I did that was so bad I should be publicly chastised on a blog. I was trying to be a friend; I wasn't calling at midnight and didn't know it was such a terrible time to call. I know things are hellish right now for her - hence my worry and my call. I'm sorry I was a bother. Fuck it.

I must be a real fuck-up if I can't even be a friend correctly to someone. If there's a problem with me, I always want to hear about it. I just don't feel I need to be chastised like a child in front of other blog readers.

Just my opinion. Don't worry, I WILL NOT make the mistake of calling again, at any time.

Back in the Trenches

I am writing this on an old eMac at a school on my lunch hour so I don't know how it's going to look. The format of blogger different on here for some reason.

Well anyway, I am NOT back at the school where the bitch stole my phone. And my iPhone isn't with me anymore. I have an old phone with another number I have brought with me and I put my purse in a drawer. This may not solve everything but it's better than having my iPhone here.

I am at probably the best middle school there is in my area to work at. I just couldn't up and quit; what with my mom loaning me money, etc. I feel obligated to work and contribute somehow until I can figure something else out. School is out on June 19th; I don't if or how much I'll work after that.

So yeah, the Dean at the school where the bitch stole my phone is pretty much a miracle worker and a pro at getting things back. He basically shook down the whole class and made them rat out who did it. I think she probably confessed in the end. I don't know what's going to happen to her. I think she'll be suspended. Being a thief - she should get in trouble with the cops. But I'm sure they didn't throw her to the cops.

I didn't think I'd work this morning. I was sitting in bed at 8:30 a.m. when the phone rang - that's considered a really late call, as they usually call around 5:30 a.m.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but I"m trying to be calm, not panic and just think, meditate and pray on it for now.

OH hell lunch is over already. This is the most boring blog ever. Apologies.

Quick Update

They got my phone back. The bitch who took it erased all my contacts and pictures and took the case it was in, BUT I HAVE IT BACK! It's a miracle. More later.

My Life in Ruins

Yesterday in 5th period all hell broke loose. Some fucking scumbag stole my iPhone out of my purse when I was IN the room. Brazen fuck. I'm sure they're really impressed with themselves. The class was wild. I had to call three security officers.

I'm going to quit. I can't do this anymore. Last week they stole my water bottle. A fucking water bottle. I'm going to get hurt if I continue on this path.

Or I'm going to hurt someone else. With a baseball bat. To the head.

If you think I'm being harsh, you haven't spent any time with these sociopathic criminals. I will refrain from saying what I really want to say hence I offend anyone with my comments. But I could not care less if these shitheads got struck by lightning.

It's NOT the iPhone that has me so upset. I have to go file a police report today. It sucks. It's a hassle. But I can and WILL get another one and I am going to do my best to see that LAUSD risk management reimburses me for at least part of it.

I feel violated. I feel unsafe. I feel like God is telling me I am going in the wrong direction. I can't do this anymore. And yet what will I do to make money? All I have is experience teaching - for the last 10 years that's all I've done.

I know this isn't open heart surgery and I say this with ALL seriousness. But I have been so unhappy for so long and I just want to go in a new direction with my life. I don't even know where to begin.

I get to see the little thieves later today after I file the police report. Yesterday AT & T did a GPS tracking on my phone; sure enough, it was exactly where I thought it would be - near the school. While I was 45 miles away.

These kids have pathetic lives. I hope the phone makes the kid happy. Naturally I cut off all service to it and killed the SIM card inside it. But I'm sure these crafty criminals know how to fire it up again.

They threw pencils at me yesterday and basically ran around like animals. They ARE animals. Actually, I love animals and that's an insult to them.

They're bottom feeders with no place in society.

No place in society - kind of how I feel right now.

P.S. The good news in all this is that before I got control of my eating, this would've sent me on a HUGE binge. At first I almost started to think, I want to eat...and then I realized how much weight I've lost, or rather how good I feel now...and I thought do you really want to make this worse TOO? Over some scumbag gangbanger kid? So I ate a regular dinner and went to bed. I'm really proud of myself. I still probably have 20-30 pounds to lose so I am NOT thin yet....but I am a helluva lot thinner that I was a month ago.

Not Functioning at 100% - More Like 5%

Haha. What happens when twice in one month you forget to take your Pill? Well, if you're having sex, you might get pregnant. But since that isn't an issue for me, something else happens. Your cycle gets really fucked up and let me just say that having INTENSE PMS while you're having your period is just oh so fun.

Sorry if this is TMI people, but it's what's going on. I'm crying, I miss my dad, I miss my grandmas, my grandpa, my sanity. Summer school has been cancelled and I'm worrying about money for this summer like crazy. People are sending back my resumes. I'm ready to throw in the towel on teaching. Maybe I should do what Veleska is doing.

In short, I'm a basket case now. My fibromyalgia is also acting up big time.

The only good news is I've lost a little more weight. I don't have a secret. I'm eating very few carbs, a lot of salads and probably turning slightly green. I've cut my caloric intake down quite a bit. Still haven't started exercising though. Eating much more healthy. Which is good because after what's happened to D, I am terrified for my poor heart and arteries. All those years of abuse...food abuse that is. At least I didn't/don't smoke and rarely drink. Although maybe I should start drinking. My BP has always been low too, which is good I guess.

Am working Monday; some teacher caught me leaving Friday and asked me to work for her. I think I must look trustworthy or something. A lot of teachers have been requesting me lately. The saddest thing is I know I'd be a very good teacher; the economy is just so bad there's NOTHING out there now. I feel like a broken record; like all my blogs are the same.

I'm really happy for S and D and the news that perhaps soon they shall be ONE....haha. Seriously, what wonderful news. :D

At least there's that! Because I've got hormones running amuck in me making me feel like it's all so worthless.

When is it my turn? When do I get to meet someone wonderful? I know, I know, I have to 'get out there." When someone can figure out where OUT is, I'll go there.

School is out on the 19th. I don't know how much I'll work - some schools run all year - through the summer, so I might work a little. Who knows and who cares.

I'm so ready to delete this blog. This is the ugly, sad, self-pitying part of me. Not pretty huh?

More Randomness

1. I don't know why but I woke up in a good mood today. Probably because 1)I slept last night and 2) the stupid phone didn't ring at 5:30a.m. waking me up with a work call. I really need the money but for once it was nice to NOT have that damned phone ringing.

2. I have had the new Church album for a while and now I LOVE IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially the song "Operetta." It took me several listens to warm up to the whole album but now I think it's beautiful.

3. I am having trouble getting used to these new computer keys on my new computer. I am making far too many typos. I am also being redundant.

4. I have lost even more weight. I don't know how much; my scale is broken. But I see myself and I can tell and my clothes are actually getting looser. I still have about a thousand pounds to go, but I think I finally have some control over my eating. It feels really good.

5. On that note, I am going to check out Curves. I know Veleska went and I know I need to start moving to facilitate more weight loss.

6. I've sent out 20 more resumes. I can just hear the people laughing when they receive them, but I have to do something.

7. I'm very sad and distressed by S's news of D. I'm sure the procedure will go fine, but I really want him to change his habits so he will be here a long time. Who else will remind me that there are good, decent men out there?

8. I found 8 pennies at the gas station today. I'm sure we've all dropped the occasional penny, but sheesh - 8? I know it's nothing really, but I picked them up. I'm trying to decide how to invest them. ; )

9. I wanted to take an Excel class at the local community college and then I found out the class started today and is during the DAY. Hello, people do WORK you know. Why don't you have this class at night idiots! Now I don't know where to find an Excel class.

10. This blog is pretty damned boring. I will end it with another cryptic comment: When you use me as an afterthought, I will burn you and disappear.

Random Stuff

1. My grandfather died - MAY 14th! His bastard son (and he is a bastard) never bothered to call us. There was a burial, but no funeral. Once again, I feel robbed of the chance to say goodbye. I guess I'll go to the cemetery myself.

2. I woke up at 3:30 a.m. again this morning. I haven't done that in a while. THANK GOD I'm not working today because honestly you are just beat by the time you get to work when you wake up that early.

3. I'm helping a friend move next weekend. The true test of friendship! Haha!

4. I'm sending out resumes like a fool, knowing there are no jobs out there. But what else can I do?

5. Watch out kids, I'm PMSing again. Yes it's that time of month again. Today I feel weepy, sleepy and sneezy. And I'm not even at Disneyland.

6. Not that I'm complaining but the Memorial Day weekend seemed really long.

7. I finally have my new computer. I'm deeply, madly in love with it. I've even managed to get almost everything off my old computer and onto this one without any help. I'm not really technologically savvy you see.

8. I admit it, I'm on Twitter. So sue me.

9. I so want to go back to sleep - it's been 5 hours since I've been up but I can't seem to get there.

10. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. I know what this means, it's my own little message to myself.

11. I promise to try to blog something more exciting next time. Maybe I'll rob a bank.

Transitions

If you don't know who you are
Then you never were much to me anyway
If you don't know you're fading fast
I wonder how long you thought this would last

You've extricated yourself from my life
With busyness and business and other such excuses
And certainly you must know a rose untended to
Will die on the vine

I wish there was something more than history
To fill my memories
To remind me of why I even bother trying
This may indeed be our last hurrah

But it doesn't feel very festive to me
A death is a death by any name
And for you my dear, I no longer feel the same

And not with a bang but with a whimper
Will this - what? relationship? breathes its last
Don't worry my dear
We'll always have the past.

Atlanta, etc.

Well, let's see...where to begin. We left for Atlanta on Friday morning the 8th. We were going specifically for Mother's Day, as my sister-in-law just lost her mother suddenly last October and is understandably having a lot of grief. Anyway, I've already talked about the reappearance of my insane fear of flying. Even with Xanax, I've been especially nervous on the last few flights I've taken. Let Dr. Freud figure out. Also, coming home sick on a plane is truly one of the lousiest experiences you can have when traveling. Especially sitting in economy class - I mean, the sardine section. I'm sure it has to do with issues of being out of control, blah blah blah. But I also fear the plane just falling out of the sky and me screaming for 30,000 feet. Eh. Hopefully I'll go back to my more philosophical, Zen-like way of flying in the future.

The trip was fine until I got sick on Tuesday. We ALL got sick to one degree or another. My poor niece Ella had one of the worst head colds I've seen in a toddler. She was just dripping all over - sorry to be so graphic. Her face made you feel miserable just looking at it! But aside from napping a little more, she was her usual happy, cheerful self, playing with us, watching Sesame Street, and worshipping her God, Elmo. She really is one of the happiest, good-natured children I've met; after all she's been through, she's really quite the chipper one. Anyway, then her mother Mary got sick, and her father (my brother), then me, then my mom. And as we alllllll know by now, when I get a cold, I get slammed and also get a sinus infection. Let's just saying landing at LAX gave new meaning to the words "ear pain."

Because of Ella - then the rest of us - we mostly hung out, went out to dinner, visited a cute town called Roswell, GA and then we flew home Wednesday morning. The coolest thing was my mom got fed up with the stupid airport shuttles and hired a private car to take us to and from the airport. THAT was sweet. I could seriously get used to that treatment. I stayed at my mom's on Thursday night, picked up the cats on Friday and oh yeah, went to the doctor Friday morning.

I called and pretty much said "I HAVE TO SEE THE DOCTOR NOW!" I knew I needed the dreaded Levaquin antibiotics. My dr. (whom I've known for 7 years) told me for the first time yesterday that he used to have sinus infections for 6-7 months out of the year. He is better now, but insisted I see an allergist. He was telling me how he takes such good care of his nose. I wish I could take my nose off at night and place it on a velvet fucking pillow like a crown, you know? So I'm making an appointment on Monday because you know, I JUST CANNOT GO ONE FREAKIN' MONTH WIHTOUT MAKING AN APPOINTMENT WITH SOME KIND OF DOCTOR!

I know, believe me, I know, this could be worse. Sinus problems fall into the category of highly annoying, not highly dangerous.

Oh but let's rewind and talk about those two feline bitches I have. Sadly, when I board them, for whatever reason, the vet insists on placing them in separate cages. So when they get out, they are all pissed at each other, smelling different odors and scents and treating each other like strangers. I always take them to the vet in one giant carrier (why I don't have bigger arm muscles just from carrying that occasionally is beyond me.) Usually they'll go home in one carrier, but fight like cats and dogs. Hahaha. Not funny. This time Fletcher REFUSED to get into the carrier with Zoe. So the vet was kind enough to loan me a tiny carrier for Fletcher. So I drive home, almost an hour's drive, with these two cats, and Zoe is just HOWLING the entire time. I thought about pulling over on the freeway and tossing her carrier out the door. Every now and again Fletcher would let out a low "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW" just to make it sound like stereo in the car. Zoe was making these gutteral noises with her throat that really belonged in "The Exorcist: Feline Demons" or something. Bitches! Did not! make my! day! any! easier!

So after dumping them at home I went to get my Rx filled so I can fill my body with more antibiotics. Such crap! Zoe walked around and cried all night last night and I was reminded once again, how lucky I am to be childless.

This is the extent of my exciting life. I have used up all my absences with regards to subbing, so come Monday, I work or....or....I don't know what'll happen. Hell, there's less than a month of school left anyway. I've decided no matter what it is, I have to get a full-time job come Sept. because subbing is just not cutting it, money wise. Plus I hate it. BUT in this economy who knows what kind of job I will, or can, get it. I hate the not knowing, the uncertainty. I am trying to tell myself that someday I will have my classroom and be able to teach like I want to. And never end sentences with prepositions. In other words, I'm trying to be positive. As S so astutely noted, people keep having kids, so they've got to have teachers.

Right know, who knows. That is what my life is like - a big giant WHO KNOWS!

Back

I'm back from Atlanta but have a nasty cold - Ella (my niece) was sick when we got there, as was my sister-in-law (I think) and we all ended up getting sick. I usually get the worst cold - who knows why. I will blog about the trip later. I feel drained and have nooooooooo energy today. Also I'm having extreme flying fears lately and I don't know why. I'd gotten sooooooooo good at flying, even after our engine blew out over the Pacific when coming back from Hawai'i 13 years ago. There is always a tremendous amount of turbulence flying from Atlanta to L.A. - why? Going against the wind? Who knows....but I was so nervous the entire flight yesterday I think I expended enough energy to light an entire town. I was holding armrest so tightly I thought I broke my hand. Ugh.

Anyway, when I have some more energy I'll fill y'all in on in on things....

Stuck

Oh yeah, that was definitely my hormones speaking in my last blog. Let's just say things have moved along and mentally I feel much better. No longer feel homicidal urges.

I haven't worked in forever. I took a week off, because we were going to Palm Springs and I'd already taken it off and I wanted to see how this flu would pan out (a lot of media hsyteria), and now I'm not working because they're doing state testing this week and teachers MUST be at school to administer these tests. I remember doing it last year. It's all part of No Child Left Behind. Then I'm taking a week off starting tomorrow because Friday morning we're leaving for Atlanta. Tomorrow the cats ARE going into the brink. Extreme sadness ensues. It's going to be a fight getting them into the carrier. That's always fun. Scratches for me and wailing and crying for them.

So Friday morning we're a-leaving on a jet plane! A flu-mobile. Haha. Kidding. I'm so excited because I get to see my crazy niece. I miss her sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. She apparently has changed a LOT since Christmas. And I was so sick at Christmas I barely interacted with her.

I am still suffering from a major case of inertia. I am stuck. I can't seem to put any resumes out because frankly I don't think there's going to be any teaching jobs available, and well, I'm just STUCK. I have learned helplessness. Sometimes I think subconsciously I've had so many bad teaching experiences in the last three years I don't even want to teach anymore. But what else am I qualified to do? And what jobs are available in this economy? Nada! I'm stuck in almost every area of my life. It sucks. If anyone has any advice how to get unstuck I'd love to hear it. I actually bought a book called "Stuck: Why We Can't (or Won't) Move On" and hell, I've been too stuck to even read it. I just pulled it off my bookshelf. Dust off the dust jacket and it's time to read it.

I loooooooooooooooooove my new iPhone. It does everything - except get me unstuck. Oh - the one thing it doesn't do - voice activation. I'm stunned. HELLO APPLE? You're a bunch of fucking morons for neglecting this ONE feature. It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo easy to use my Bluetooth on the road with my Razr phone and just touch my ear and say "Call Steven at home" and my phone would dial it for me. But does the iPhone have this incredible safety feature? NO! Apple thinks of EVERYTHING and really, oddly enough, the phone is the weakest link in the iPhone. What a bunch of morons. In July Apple is offering several new free updates to the iPhone and I'm praying voice-activated dialing is one of them. I can't be looking up a number to dial while speeding down the freeway. Idiots. It's so obvious it's almost like they excluded it on purpose.

I'm also looking forward to going away because on vacation your reality is totally suspended and you don't have to face anything. I need to start packing because well, it takes me a few days to get my packing shit together. I'm not only stuck, I do everything in slow motion. I should've had some kids. They'd get me going, haha. My life is technically 1/2 over and where the hell am I? Where am I going? Nowhere fast, as they say.

My foot is much better but not 100%. I'd say another few weeks and hopefully it will be close to 100%. It's been a little over a month since I took a header over the bench and smashed my foot into the concrete wall of the bench. Ouch.

Well this may be my most boring blog ever. Blame it on me being stuck.

Photo: My niece Ella, making one of the craziest faces I've ever seen on a toddler.

Beyond Cranky

I am in such a bad mood right now; words cannot convey it. A lot of it STILL has to do with my PMS. Ever since I started taking this Yaz birth control it seems my PMS is better but NOT THIS MONTH! I want heads on a stick! I want to kill! I want to scream! I can't really pinpoint exactly what's wrong so that's why I think it's hormonal.

Big plans for the weekend. My cousin and I are supposed to go visit my grandpa tomorrow. He is in a convalescent home; I feel really badly for him. He is 95 going on 96 years old and basically just sitting and waiting to die. Is there anything worse?

Sunday I am helping Jill with her garage sale. She is selling almost all her grandma's stuff. FUN TIMES AHEAD!

I've done nothing with my week. Even my iPhone isn't doing it for me anymore. THAT was fast, huh? No wonder kids need new toys about every three seconds. Fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck!


FUCK!

Concerned, But Not Alarmed

When the President starts parsing adjectives over a possible flu epidemic/pandemic I start to wonder....

Anyway, the bad, sad, mad, crazy news is that I am NOT in Palm Springs and won't be going this week. All things were just not working in our favor. My foot hurts more today - a lot of walking was out. The weather is too cool - not cooperating at all. No pool. Other problems involved a head cold, an infected eye and PMS. I will take responsibility for the foot and the PMS. Haha. So we've postponed the trip. The good news is I'm not working today, nor tomorrow, as I hardly ever, ever work on Tuesdays. The obvious news is I turn 42 today and how do I feel about this? Bleh. Blah. Blah blah blippity blah.

If it was up to my mom, I'd never go back to work, because she has surpassed both concerned and alarmed and has gone into mild hysteria over the flu. She tends to work herself up pretty easily about these things.

So I wake up early this morning and my fridge gives me an early morning b-day gift. It starts making a crackling noise; then I smell something burning. It only took two hours for the dimwits in maintenance to get to my apartment and look at it. Turns out there were about 2,000 dust bunnies under and behind the fridge; they vacuumed it out (yes I'm a lousy housekeeper for not moving the fridge for months and months) and looked it over and declared that dust/dirt/whatever probably got near something hot. There is no more burning smell but the damn thing has been clicking all morning. I ASKED dimwit maintenance man why it was clicking but did he know? Hell no! He just said if the temperature changed to call them. Hell, I see a new fridge in my future. The freezer seems less freezing than it should. They'll be back - no doubt in a few days. If I call them again now, maybe I'll be lucky enough to get them back here by Wednesday.

So happy birthday to me! Being an adult sucks! I want to be a kid again when all I had to do was look forward to my awesome cake and gifts! And pin the tail on the Democrat! I mean, donkey.
My sweet mom is actually making me a cake; that's pretty cool of her. Not that I need cake. I've lost weight and want to keep losing but hey, a person has to have some cake on his/her b-day, right?

Thomas, your quips and quotes and prose and poems have been cracking me up on Facebook. You're quite the wit lately.

S, I haven't commented yet on today's blog, but I love the title. SNAP! Bad mood for no reason! That should be my middle name. I'm actually thinking of changing my middle name to 'misanthrope.' Or just 'bitch.' Also, chronic pain is, as you know, just infamous for creating bad moods and they ARE there for a reason: you are in PAIN! In a way, after 15 years I have to be used to it, but then again, I'm not. I think I've got some crazy ass hope stuck in my head that one morning I'll just wake up FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll let you forks know if/when this happens. In the meantime, I continue to feel bad S, that you are suffering, and I want the chiro to speed things up for you! (And yes Sandy, forks = food = something I think about too often.)

The cats have no idea how close they came to going into the brink today. They're just lying on the bed, snoozing away, oblivious as usual. My goal is to find a pet sitter before the postponed trip so I won't have to put them in isolation in cold, dark, dank cells! It's like GITMO FOR CATS! They don't even get a prayer mat.

Well I haven't been on Facebook in about 27 seconds, so time to check for updates. The iPhone cometh sometime this week - THAT insanity is still ON!

Random Thoughts

1. I normally don't get too concerned about flu outbreaks (i.e. the bird flu a few years ago) but this swine flu outbreak is disturbing. It's being passed from person to person and is quickly making its way around the world to various countries. There are 7 confirmed cases here in CA. Naturally. And what do I do? Teach Hispanic kids who go back and forth to Mexico constantly with their families (if you haven't heard the outbreak is much, much worse in Mexico - esp. Mexico City). They'd better leave the oink virus down there. I'm gonna be a Nazi about using Kleenex, covering mouths when sneezing, coughing and washing hands. Yes, this flu has me a bit spooked.

2. I am going to Palm Springs tomorrow (my b-day!) for a few days. I will be back Friday. It's only going to be in the mid 80's there so it should be nice.

3. The saga of my right foot. Where did I leave off? I had a billion x-rays at the urgent care and the weird dr. said there were no fractures. This was on a Thursday. Then on Monday as I'm driving back home from Burbank, I get a voice mail from the urgent care stating that they need to speak to me, but because of strict HIPPA (confidentiality) laws, can't tell me what's wrong. Way to get me all anxious. So I race on over there and the radiologist looked at the x-rays and thought MAYBE I had a fracture on the dorsum area of my foot (top of my foot). MAYBE. They weren't sure. I'd need a CAT-SCAN. But they wouldn't just give me one; no, they told me it'd be 3-5 days before my insurance even OK'd it. 3-5 days? Hello, I have a PPO - it should only take one phone call to get approval. I demanded to see the doctor and ended up seeing ANOTHER dr. who looked at my x-rays again and just wasn't convinced I had a break. Also, the weird thing was, I had NO PAIN on top of my foot.

However, this is the strangest injury I've ever experienced. Every day the pain migrates. It was in my heel and the dr. didn't know why. Now it's mostly on the side of my ankle. Some days it's much better...sometimes it's gone entirely. However if I'm on my foot all day for work it gets a little irritated. The doc said just keep wrapping it with the Ace bandage and take the anti-inflammatories and if it's worse, come back. They said there wasn't much they could do anyway for a bone on top of the foot. So I am babying it the best I can. Today it's really quite good. I think the tendons and ligaments are healing very slowly. It itches too. Weird huh? I have to stop myself from scratching my foot and lower leg. Honestly, I had no idea I would get such a long-lasting injury from that fucking bench accident. But feet take a long time to heal. I won't be doing a ton of walking this week, needless to say. More like a ton of being in the pool.

4. I'm really sorry to hear about S's back problems and pain. I so understand the lack of energy part. Chronic pain just drains you. And she's right. DON'T WAIT TO TRY AND MAKE IT BETTER! I had fibro for 11 years before I even got on a medicine that helped me because I wasn't aggressive enough about my treatment. I had it for 10 years before I even got something for the pain - some Ultram - which really isn't a true narcotic but does have similar pain-killing properties. I think I thought I could tough it out - and I did for 11 years and then pretty much cracked. There's just no need to suffer. Anyway, I hope and pray this chiro can help you S like he claims! The claims sound good so I have my fingers crossed for you.

5. I have been working 4-5 days a week which is twice what I was working in the fall. Good money; however my mind is shot by the end of each day spending it with over 200 hormonal howler monkeys.

6. I have to board the cats this week. I HATE HATE HATE doing this to them. They fight it like crazy, they cry incessantly once I get them in the carrier and I know they are sad and unhappy. But I still haven't found anyone I trust to come in to my house and take care of them. I soooooo miss the services of Gena. Ha! I don't miss her friendship - just her taking care of the cats. I'm so cold.

7. I can't believe I'm 42 years old. That just sounds so ADULT and yet I still feel about 25 in my head. (My body is another story). Sometimes I feel like a child and just want to cry and throw a tantrum! LOL! God, my grandma was just having my DAD at 42. Insanity.

8. I am getting an iPhone for my birthday. I am terribly, abnormally excited about this! I do not and cannot keep up with everything in the tech world - just don't have the money for it. But I've wanted an iPhone for a long time and my sweet, generous mom is going to get it for me. Really, it's scary how excited I am over this. I'm thinking "Oh great, I can do Facebook now anywhere I want!" My addiction to Facebook is another problem. Let's face it - anything that keeps me away from reality - I'm up for it.

9. I received my Church tickets in the mail. I also pre-ordered the new CD. I admit, I am getting more excited to see them, but think I may end up going solo. SAD SAD SAD! My friend Cheri won't go, and I doubt Jill will go. I can ask my cousin Sara, who goes to clubs all the time, but she might be bored with the Church. Who knows.

10. Well, that's all folks. I almost called you guys forks. Gotta run some errands. Joy! Be good, have a good week and wash your hands!

I Passed!! Part II

Yes, I just found out I passed my final two English CSET exams (California Subject Exams for Teachers). Now I have to take one stupid methods class and I'll be certified by the state to teach English. I'm already certifiable in many other ways, yes.

Very excited. Unable to do couch jumping due to foot, which is getting better - but didn't want to push it. Swelling is down to almost nothing. Icing foot still as I write.

Too Cute!
My niece Ella, who has fallen asleep in her exersaucer. (Yes, that's what it is called!)

A Whole Lotta Nothin'

WTF? I am having problems with the font size again on this thing. I KNOW how to change the font size. It just won't take. I am so pissed at blogger! I can't imagine what I could be doing wrong! Anyway...

Well my lovely spring break is almost at an end. I'm not sure if I'll be called Monday to work, but I know I'll be called sometime next week so officially fun times are over on Monday for me. It was more productive than I'd hoped because I actually got some great SLEEP! And we know how elusive that is for me. I haven't slept this well in months. I also read a lot, watched a lot of movies and just generally enjoyed not being around those little shits.

Speaking of...haha...I had to take my mom for her colonoscopy yesterday. She insists they didn't give her enough anesthesia last time so this time they really, really drugged her out. She was wacky yesterday. I stayed overnight with her just to make sure everything was OK. The good news is she got a totally clean bill of health - as far as her colon is concerned. At least you get insta-results with a colonoscopy.

I'm sure you all know this by now but I did buy tickets to see The Church at the Roxy. I succumbed to the fear that they might not tour again; although part of me sees The Church touring on walkers if need be. I am going to have to see who might go with me - if anyone. Sad!

Well, because of my bench accident, I really screwed up my right ankle. For some crazy reason it didn't start hurting until almost a week after the accident. Now it's killing me. I think I've sprained it. It's really bruised and it hurts somewhat to walk. It was getting better but today it hurts even more. If it doesn't start getting better soon I'm gonna have to see another dr. and we all know how much I HATE SEEING DOCTORS!

I am still at my mom's waiting for her to come home with the groceries for Easter dinner. We are not religious about Easter at all, but we still do the dinner thing. I like to think of Easter as a pagan holiday celebrating spring - what it started out as in the beginning anyway, no doubt. It's not like I'm a kid and am going to get an Easter basket. I have serious trouble with the Christian beliefs that surround Easter; I always have.

Anyway, this blog is very similar to my break in that it is full of a whole lotta nothin' but I thought I'd check in with y'all anyway. I keep looking at V's blog to see if she is officially preggers but nothing! I'm going to call her. I'm sure she is; I just wanted to see if she went to the doc's. I'm so nosy. But excited!

Spring Break

Ok, do NOT get me wrong - I LOVE not being at work. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Not being around those stupid trashy wanna be gangsta kids with their filthy vulgar mouths? It's lovely. But spring break is kind of lonely when you're the only one on it. My friend Cheri, who is also a teacher, is naturally on her break NEXT week. Boo hoo.

Why do all you people have to live in different states? Texas, Arizona, Illinois, Ohio - even northern California (which would love to separate from us and become its own state I'm sure). Of course California can't take anymore people, that's for sure. Maybe I should move - but sadly I can't handle snow and extreme heat. Wuss!!!

Well I'm going to go off and entertain myself and don't take that the wrong way all you kids with dirty minds! ; )

The Bench Accident - Or How I Am The Biggest Moron in All of History

Ok, so there's a little hyperbole in the title, but still, I felt like the biggest moron in all of history after I got over the shock of being on the ground - or kind of being on the ground and half straddling a fucking bench.

Last Wednesday I was at one of my usual hell holes, subbing for LAUSD. I'd been there before but still needed a map to find the classroom. So I'm walking along, looking intently at this map, and I walk straight into a long line of benches. I was - how do I say this - parallel with it - meaning I literally fell onto the end of the bench - not the middle - I literally just slammed into it, the concrete barriers around it, tripped and fell down. It wasn't like a little gracious fall however. My entire body literally flew over the bench. The only thing that kept me from falling flat on my face (and hitting my head, thank God) were my extremities. My arms went flailing but my right leg must have hit the bench really hard because my right foot up to my inner right thigh is totally black and blue. I also had a HUGE lump on my right shin (it's gone down to almost nothing now), and I still have a massive bruise on my left knee, left arm and left elbow. I got a few cuts along the way but nothing major.

What was so awful was the utter shock of it all. One minute I'm walking along and the next it's like I've been hit by a car. It took me at least a minute to come back to reality because I couldn't figure out where I was for a minute or why I was on the ground. I was so freaked out I actually thought "Oh my god, did I hit my head? I think I would've felt it if I hit my head." I am obviously feeling the repercussions of poor Natasha Richardson's head injury and panicked for a minute. Then I realized "I think I'd know if I hit my head." These girls circled around me like a flock of birds and one was sweet enough to pick up my stuff. Other rubbernecking morons just gaped at me like the idiots they are.

But honestly, I really wasn't even embarrassed because I was in such a state of shock. I kind of wanted to cry because it hurt so much! But alas, that was out of the question. Anyway, that's the worst fall I've had since I was 9 years old and fell and knocked out my permanent teeth (they saved them). I just gathered my things and limped along to class like nothing happened and managed to get through the day - with 7 periods of some of the worst students to boot.

So, that my friends, is the bench accident. You too can be humiliated and yet not even feel it because you're in such shock you did such a stupid thing at a middle school. Anyway, less than a week later and I am still limping along, just grateful it wasn't worse. And I am VERY careful about looking where I'm going now.

Anyway, I am in a better mood tonight. I just watched Slumdog Millionaire and cried like a baby (or a woman with PMS) at the end. I LOVED it. How can you not love this movie? I think it has one of the most romantic moments in all of movie history in it but I won't spoil it if you haven't seen it. I laughed, I cried. How's that for cliched?

I am really into The Wire now. Did anyone ever watch this? Naturally I am only about seven years late on this show. I think they had their final season last year; thank God for Netflix and DVD's. It used to be on HBO and is about Baltimore cops and bad guys, haha. Sounds cliched but it's really quite brilliant and the lead detective, actor Dominic West, is adorable.

OK, so onto other things...Sandy - are you going to Chicago to see the Church? Did I misread your comment? I think you are going! Also, Eek, I was thinking about the Church's last tour in 2006 - the one where I helped out with Steve's art. They played Santa Barbara, Hollywood, Orange County AND San Diego. I sadly missed the 2004 tour completely. I know times are tougher now and I can't expect huge tours from them...I had just really hoped to see some Church friends!

OK my psycho cat Zoe is running back and forth outside my bedroom door and I keep thinking it's a person. She sooooooooooo needs a Xanax. (Don't worry, I only drug myself, not my animals).

Also, thank you Eek, for that story about your poor mum and her sinuses. Doctors are so weird. I think mine gave up on me today. He was like, go see an allergist, your immune system is shot. Oh thanks so MUCH doc! I feel great now. Bastard.

Anyway, that's it. My bruised leg and I are going to bed.

Photo: British actor Dominic West - I am indeed such a sucker for the Brits - even when they're playing Americans!